The Hole Family Suspension
by obsessed Elijah fan
Summary: (Holes) What if a whole family got sent to Camp Green Lake? kinda scary. just a sudden idea i had. (genre horror for incredible badness) r/r please ^_^
1. A Long Ride

Okay, I know this is really weird. But what if my family got sent to Camp Green Lake? I just thought of it cuz all my family members have nicknames. Hmmm...  
  
Blah Blah blah. That's all I could hear for the *whole* billion hours on the bus. That dirty little kid otherwise known as my little brother would not shut up! I sighed. Mom was crying because she couldn't believe we were in trouble with the law. Dad was going on and on about the stupid scenery and wildlife. What scenery? We were in the middle of a freaking desert. What a joyous next eighteen months this was going to be. Stuck in a tent with my whole family and probly some other whakos who got in trouble. The bus finally pulled to a stop and we were uncuffed.  
  
"Hey, there's no lake here. This is stupid. I wanna go home." Duh you little twerp, we all do. Why couldn't I be an only child? Or why couldn't we at least have been stranded here without him?  
  
I was looking at the ground to try and keep the sun out of my eyes. Suddenly a pair of dirty, old cowboy boots strode up. I put my hand over my eyes like a visor and saw a rather ugly man who smelled like dirt. He spit out what appeared to be a seed or something. "This isn't a girl scout camp. And we usually don't allow women, children, or anyone over 20 here. But I guess you guys are gonna start the new trend." He proceeded to tell us all about digging holes, don't run away, blah blah blah. Then he said something about changing into these orange jumpsuit things.  
  
"Um. No. there is no way I'm changing into this thing while you're watching." My mom nodded in agreement while my brother, always eager to take off his shirt and show off his puny little "muscles" was hastily undressing.  
  
"This is highly irregular. But," He trailed off and scratched his head. I guess just this once I'll turn around. But hurry up about it."  
  
My mom and I exchanged uncertain looks, but dad had us covered. At least parents were good for something. He made sure Mr.Sir didn't watch us as we removed are garments and put on the orange suits. Then another guy came in. he had a large nose, completely covered in sun screen.  
  
"hi. I'm Mr. Pendanski. You can remember it by Pen Dance Key. I'll be your counselor. Seems you guys all get the D-tent. The government finally gave us some more money, so we've got some extra cots laying around with no dirty bodies to fill them." He grinned and then said some crap about we all make mistakes. He led us to the tent and assigned us to the cot we were going to spend our next "few months" in. There were some boys already in there.... Couple black boys, couple whites. And one incredibly cute one. They all introduced themselves by weird nicknames like "Armpit, X-ray, etc..." like I was going to remember that. But the one they call Caveman... maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all.  
  
Just so you know, this is *not* going to be a romance!!! Just some jumbled thoughts of a teenage Shia fangirl. Hope you enjoyed it! more to come! 


	2. Nicknames

Before I begin, I'd like to thank Chelsea for inspiring me to write this story. You're such an inspiration! Lol. You didn't *just* inspire me to make out with Stanley when I reviewed. ^_^ okay, without further ado, the new chapter:  
  
Okay, so maybe the nicknames wouldn't be that hard to remember. It seems their nicknames are based on something about them. Except I hadn't quite figured out the squid one yet. Oh well, I had eighteen months to figure it out. Armpit was supposed to be showing us around. It was awful. He kept pointing at things. I guess that's why they call him "Armpit." Ugh.  
  
"And here's the wreck room." Before he could point, we all held out breath. He led us inside and saw some other boys, from other tents we later found out, playing around. This is pathetic, they should call it the "wrecked" room. I told this to my mom, along with some other things I'd noticed. She said something about being too pessimistic. I rolled my eyes; some people are *too* optimistic, I'm just providing balance. We went back to the tent and I laid on my cot and took out the only thing I'd brought to keep me company: a book. I started reading, but soon an unknown shadow fell across the pages.  
  
I looked up and there was Zero. He just kept staring at me. I tried to ignore him, it was kinda creepy. Soon enough he left, but his presence was replaced by Magnet. "I was just curious, but how did your *whole* family get sent here?"  
  
I laughed. It was pretty funny actually.  
  
~~~~ We walked out of Wal-Mart with a cartful of groceries and other items. We scanned the parking lot for our car. "Dear, do you remember where we parked?" My dad asked my mom.  
  
"I wasn't paying attention."  
  
"Does anyone remember where we parked?"  
  
We all shook our heads. Great. Just peachy. We started walking up and down the rows of cars. Then my mom spotted the maroon LeSabre a couple rows away. We walked over and my dad took out the keys and started fumbling with the lock. He stood there for a few minutes, unable to get it open. Mom walked over to the passenger side and found the door unlocked. She unlocked the rest of the doors and we all climbed in. it smelled odd in here. Then Thomas and I noticed the weird cd's scattered on the floor.  
  
"Um, dad. I don't think this is our car." I said as Thomas and I looked at the back of the Backstreet Boys cd. Just then, an angry face appeared by dad's head. We were in someone else's car and they were royally ticked. They pressed us with charges. And we got sent to Camp Green Lake.  
  
~~~  
  
I finished explaining this to Magnet and he laughed, shook his head, and walked away. Hmm. Kids here are kinda weird. Must be the heat. I couldn't *wait* to go crazy from digging all the time myself. I closed my book and just sat there thinking of what fun I was going to be having this year.  
  
Okay, I know it's kinda weird why we got sent there. Sorry. But I had to come up with something. Sadly enough, that was based on a true story, although we never got in the car and the people never caught us. Haha. We're such losers. 


	3. The First Hole

Thanks to all the people who reviewed. Both of you. Lol. Oh, and by the way, in case you couldn't tell, I stuck thoughts in there that "I" thought of while that particular scene was taking place. That's kind of confusing, example: We went to a restaurant. I'm hungry. Ya, I hope you get it. Okay, here's the next chapter. Well, that's kind of obvious, but oh well:  
  
An earthquake? What was that shaking? Oh, it was just my mother. Then I felt cold. Someone had snatched my blanket away.  
  
"Mom, it's summer, no school. Go away." I said, but the shaking continued. I was finally forced out of bed and when I realized where I was, we all groggily made our way to breakfast. I don't know what it was supposed to be, but it looked like what I'd eaten for dinner the previous night. I was too tired to care though. Before I could think, we were lead to a small building labeled "Library." Hmm, that's kind of odd. The door was unlocked and inside were a bunch of shovels.  
  
We were all handed shovels. Then we were lead out onto the dry, crusty patch of earth. There's no way in the world that this could have *ever* been a lake, no matter how many years ago. "Dig here," Mr. Sir told us, "the water truck will be back to fill your canteens in a couple hours. Have fun." He laughed. This guy has a sick sense of humor. The guys were already started, including my dad and brother. Although Thomas's shovel wasn't cooperating because it was taller than he was, he had at least started.  
  
I exchanged pity glances with my mom and forced my shovel into a crack in the earth. At first it wasn't *too* awfully hard. I started singing, "I've been working on the Railroad" while I worked. Pretty soon some of the guys were singing along with me. The rhythm fit perfectly with the sound of our shovels hitting the earth.  
  
By the time the water truck came though, I wasn't in such high spirits. I had blisters on every inch of skin on my hands. I even had blisters *on* my blisters. I got in the back of the line behind Caveman, followed by the rest of my family. I almost started flirting, but I was in too much agony to think of anything to even start up a conversation. However, he turned around and noticed me looking at my hands and wincing. "Hey, first hole's the hardest," he told me as he patted my shoulder.  
  
Ya right, I knew that tomorrow I would have to work with the sores still on my fingers. Oh well... at least he touched me. With a dreamy expression, I hardly noticed Mr. Sir filling my canteen. I walked off to finish my first hole.  
  
Again, I repeat: this is *not* going to be a romance. I just couldn't help adding that part in because I LOVE Stanley. Okay, bye. O ya, review please. ^_^ 


	4. A Hole Week

Seeing as I have nothing interesting to say whatsoever, let's start right on with the chapter. Of course, I suppose I could say some boring stuff... I brushed my teeth last night with Colgate toothpaste, but we're almost out of that, so tonight I'm going to use Crest. Neither of them have whitener in them, but they have special cleaning stuff. I think they contain phosphate. I dunno though. I don't even know what phosphate is exactly. That's okay. It's summer, but I don't think I *ever* knew what it was. No wait, I think my mom told me one time. Okay, anyways, now that I've talked about nothing interesting, we can start:  
  
One week. I wished it were one week left but unfortunately for us, it was only one week that had passed since we'd arrived. Not even one week of digging holes. Twenty-two meals. Seven nights. And only six holes. The only one of us who'd received their nickname was my dad, The Squash. X-ray told me it was because his beard made his head the shape of one. Now that I thought about it, it kinda did. I don't think my mom or brother particularly cared about having a nickname, but I really wanted one. Something cool. Oh well, all I could do was wait.  
  
After digging for about five hours, it was finally lunch time. I don't know what they put in those graham crackers, or maybe it was something else, but I was really hyper after lunch. I started bouncing around, joking, digging with super speed, for about the next hour. Shortly after my spasm wore off, I felt like a slug. I looked around, most of the boys were doing pretty good on their hole, Zero was already climbing out and spitting in his. I climbed out of mine too, which was about five feet wide, but only about three feet deep. I collapsed outside my hole. And then I spazzed.  
  
I like to call it the Richardson Twitch. All it is really is a huge shiver most of the Richardson's get every once in a while. My dad does it, my cousins do it, I do, Thomas doesn't yet, but I'm sure he will. This one was the biggest spasm I'd ever had though, usually they just shake my upper torso, but this one went from head to toe. After spazzing (which wasn't like a seizure or anything, it was just a huge twitch), I felt refreshed for some reason and climbed back into my hole and dug. Thomas was complaining, but that was nothing unusual, and within an hour and a half (at least that's what I'd guessed) I'd finished my seventh hole. I climbed out, most of the other boys, and my dad, were gone, only Caveman was left. I spat in my hole and turned to walk away.  
  
"Hey, d'ya mind waiting? I'm almost done and I've never walked back with anyone before." I turned to see Caveman looking at me from inside his hole. I nodded, I was gonna say something, but my heart was all aflutter. I climbed in a hole next to his... it was shady in there. In a few minutes, he climbed out. He helped me out too. We walked back to camp in silence.  
  
"Ladies first," he said as we neared the showers. "Not that you can tell the difference when everyone's covered with all this dirt," I replied. He laughed. I took my shower, and went to the wreck room where everyone else was, except The Squash, who hated all forms of social interaction. In a few minutes Caveman entered, and within the hour, so did my mom and brother.  
  
At dinner, for the first time I sat away from my parents. "Is there any salt?" I asked hesitantly, not sure how the guys would react, especially if there wasn't any and Squid had only been joking when he told me that if you cover everything with salt you can't taste it. "Yo, someone pass Spaz the salt," yelled X-ray. I beamed. I had a nickname.  
  
Okay, I couldn't help the Stanley thing. Whenever I write it turns into a romance. I'm really trying not to. But I can't help fantasize.... Lol. I know one of my reviewers said to make it a romance, so I'll just pretend I was compromising and throw in some pre-romance jazz, but it's NOT GOING TO BE A ROMANCE! Unless I bend under the pressure of my desires and pattern of writing. Eh heh. 


	5. Ripped Pants

O by the way, fanfiction is messing up so some of the stuff has weird symbols, that's because fanfic's messing up. So sorry of it's hard to read. It messed up on apostrophes and quotation marks.  
  
Huzzah. I switched to Crest with whitener. I really want to try that stuff you brush on your teeth and it makes them whiter in like two weeks. That is so neato. I am really not obsessed with teeth, in case you were wondering. I just like to mindlessly babble before writing a chapter. It gets my creative juices flowing. And it is fun. So if you do not like it, just skip ahead to the chapter. If there is anything important maybe I will write it in all caps or something. Ya so, having nothing more to say about toothpaste, writing, or month old chinese food left to rot under some poor soul's bed sheets... I will continue on with the story that you have been reading for the last few chapters.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
After a month, my mom and brother had finally earned themselves nicknames: Complaint and Stitch. Even though I thought his nickname should be something along the lines of Complete and Total Ignoramus, How Thomas got his is rather obvious, but my mom's came about a week ago when Zigzag ripped his pants:  
  
~*~*flashback*~*~  
  
We were all in the wrecked room, I was watching Caveman and Zero play pool while the rest of my family was doing other things to amuse themselves. It was hardly noticeable, but suddenly the room was minus one noise: the t.v. buzzing. I looked over to where Zigzag was sitting across the t.v. and saw a look of shock on his face. The Lump had managed to turn off the t.v. in an obvious attempt to do nothing but cause trouble.  
  
"Turn it back on... please... I was watching that," Zigzag said to the boy who was twice his size not in height, but around the middle.  
  
The Lump grinned. "I think it is my turn to watch t.v. What do you think boys?" he turned to look at the rest of the boys in his tent, who grinned and nodded their heads.  
  
Without warning, Zigzag suddenly leapt onto Thlump and they were soon engrossed in what could've turned into an ugly fight, had The Squash not intervened. He probably wouldn't of though, had my mom not been screaming at him to "get in there and do something!" So the two boys were separated, but stood glaring at each other. The Lump walked off to another part of the room, leaving Zigzag alone and fuming silently.  
  
He glanced down and noticed a huge rip I the knee of his pants. Well, at least that's where the biggest part of the rip was. It extended all the way up to the middle of his thigh and down almost to his ankle. "Crap," he muttered under his breath as he surveyed the damage done to his "play" clothes which would not be mended at all. My mom had noticed the rip too and went into full "mother mode."  
  
"Here dear, go get into your other set of clothes and give me those," she said as she gestured to the jumpsuit he had on.  
  
"Uh, sure, whatever." He said as he left the room to change clothes. He came back a few minutes later and threw the damaged clothes at my mom's feet. She picked them up, took out the needle and thread in her sewing bag. Mr. Sir had let her keep it on the condition that it be kept in his office at all times except when she was in the wreck room. She was also not to let anyone else near it.  
  
so she proceeded to fix Zig's pants as good, if not better than, new.  
  
~*~*End flashback*~*~  
  
So now we all had nicknames. Huzzah. Oh ya, to my great dismay, I had found that my hands had become extremely rough and callused. While I could no longer feel pain in my fingers when I worked, they were not very attractive.  
  
Sorry that chapter was a little boring I think. I don't really like it. it sucked. Oh well. I'm really trying hard not to make this a romance. It's really difficult to fight the urge to start making out with stanley. Or... at least have my character do it for me. I'm really trying though, but if you *really* want a romance, just tell me and maybe I'll write a different story other than this one for the soul purpose of writing a romance. (of course it would be holes only) 


End file.
